We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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