we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
