Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
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