there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
