I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
