Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
