She is in my trunk
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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