She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
You pole danced in your parka.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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