I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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