so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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