Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
