Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
