He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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