I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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