and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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