im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
