She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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