i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
