I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
