I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
