we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
