is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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