so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
