I think scott just propositioned me for sex
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
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