there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
