u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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