My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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