Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
