Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
