areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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