Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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