I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Randomize
