By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
