This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Randomize
