Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Randomize
