I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
