even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
