I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
You brought string cheese to the strip club
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
