I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
