smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
