This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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