I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
