I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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