you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
