Can Purell be used as lube?
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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