also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
