It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize