I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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