I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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