Pants 0. Shit 1.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I woke up under a house in Key West
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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