Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
